So the bad news is over and I am relaxing again.. getting used to the news that I have one good kidney. Okay, so I am not getting used to the news but I am kinda dealing with it, you know, crying off and on. It's a Friday morning and I have a visit with the family doctor for a minor issue that is NOT kidney or thyroid related. I wasn't going to share but well screw it.. this is so trivial at this point but important I suppose. I got a plantar wart from a hotel pool when I had been traveling for work. I had tried OTC remedies and I couldn't get rid of it, it just kept coming back. Well, if you ever hit your deductible and it's only June.. yep you guessed it.. you get everything possible taken care of medically.
I check in with my new family doctor that I never met before. Steve and I had just transferred to the practice in February. I go into the room and my vitals are taken, I explain why I am there and they get the doctor. The doctor starts freezing the wart (for anyone who has not had this done.. it does not hurt until daysssss later!!) and we start talking about some of my medical issues. Well, we get on the topic menopause. I'm like yeah, I'm pre-menopausal like I went to doctor school. You know, all proud of myself. She looks down her educated nose at me and says why would you think that? I said, I started getting irregular periods, I am cramping so bad now that the pain is like a 15 and I am bleeding horribly when it does occur. I am totally proud of myself and so smug. She lifts an eyebrow and says calmly, "that's not menopause, pre or post." I look at her in utter disbelief, who is she to doubt my prognosis?
After she finishes with my wart, we talk about my medical history and she mentions that my blood pressure is high. Yep, sure is and has been for years. We talk about the ER trip on New Years when it was 200+ / 100+. She stares at me in disbelief that no one has given me anything yet. She prescribes a "kidney friendly" medication. I look confused and she asks if I have been educated about what to take and what to eat with my kidney issues and I of course have no clue, no one has told me anything. Yep, a referral to a nephrologist.. did you even know that word exists? Its a doctor specializing in keeping kidneys healthy. I now have a urologist that will work on checking for stones and infections and will be getting a nephrologist which will focus on keeping my healthy kidney healthy. We also found out that my Aleve PM that I take nightly is Naproxen which is a big no no. I can only take Tylenol.
We then go on to discuss my pre-menopausal state that she doesn't think I am in. She continues to tell me that my symptoms don't fit the criteria as she is looking at my kidney history so she can get caught up on my records. Apparently she can multitask better than I can. She stops, she sits back and she looks at me. She says calmly, "so they found out that the cysts in the kidney are non cancerous but what about the 2.5cm cyst on the cervix?" I stare blankly at her. Yes folks, the saga is now going to start again because I have multiple cysts on my cervix. The doctor at this point has no clue why I am not complaining about being in more pain. High pain tolerance? Well I need to get this checked out, she doesn't think it's cancer BUT you never know.
Admittedly, this could be my fault, I have not been to a OB/GYN in years BUT I think that when those cysts appeared on my CT scan for the kidney, someone might have thought to mention it. If I had not gone to the family doctor, I still would not have known. Coordination of care has to mean something to someone. I mean if my clients needed food, I wouldn't buy them ice cream if they didn't have a refrigerator or electric. I would work on all of the issues or find resources to help the other existing issues.Guess what this means? Yes, another referral to Borgess Women's Health and an ultrasound to start the whole party.
Lastly did you know that there are multiple kidney diets and they are confusing and contradictory? In my humble opinion, I can honestly say I can safely eat air and water and that would fit in with the diets and be okay. My doctor is not okay with this.. she is referring me to a dietician. This is actually a good thing and I am looking forward to this. This honestly makes me happy.
I leave her office and I think I drive home.. I mean I got home somehow and I was alone because silly me.. I never thought I would need Steve for a wart removal. I am not going to a doctor appointment ever again for anything alone.I don't care if it is just for my flu shot. I am petrified now to go to the doctor for anything.
I think I honestly might have called Steve from the parking lot to tell him all the new information but I can't remember. My memories of this moment are a bit cloudy. I can tell you that the emotions that I felt were endless. I felt anger, sadness, hopelessness, frustration, and fear. I do remember after getting home and talking to Steve about the visit I looked at him and told him that I'd sign divorce papers if he wanted a divorce (just to clarify due to my sarcastic humor, I was 100% serious). He looked at me like I lost my mind. I just couldn't imagine what he has to be going through with all of this chaos and the emotional struggles. Honestly one minute I am fine and the next minute I am crying on the couch. He deserves sainthood and I don't deserve him.
The next post.. the trials and errors of new medications.
I check in with my new family doctor that I never met before. Steve and I had just transferred to the practice in February. I go into the room and my vitals are taken, I explain why I am there and they get the doctor. The doctor starts freezing the wart (for anyone who has not had this done.. it does not hurt until daysssss later!!) and we start talking about some of my medical issues. Well, we get on the topic menopause. I'm like yeah, I'm pre-menopausal like I went to doctor school. You know, all proud of myself. She looks down her educated nose at me and says why would you think that? I said, I started getting irregular periods, I am cramping so bad now that the pain is like a 15 and I am bleeding horribly when it does occur. I am totally proud of myself and so smug. She lifts an eyebrow and says calmly, "that's not menopause, pre or post." I look at her in utter disbelief, who is she to doubt my prognosis?
After she finishes with my wart, we talk about my medical history and she mentions that my blood pressure is high. Yep, sure is and has been for years. We talk about the ER trip on New Years when it was 200+ / 100+. She stares at me in disbelief that no one has given me anything yet. She prescribes a "kidney friendly" medication. I look confused and she asks if I have been educated about what to take and what to eat with my kidney issues and I of course have no clue, no one has told me anything. Yep, a referral to a nephrologist.. did you even know that word exists? Its a doctor specializing in keeping kidneys healthy. I now have a urologist that will work on checking for stones and infections and will be getting a nephrologist which will focus on keeping my healthy kidney healthy. We also found out that my Aleve PM that I take nightly is Naproxen which is a big no no. I can only take Tylenol.
We then go on to discuss my pre-menopausal state that she doesn't think I am in. She continues to tell me that my symptoms don't fit the criteria as she is looking at my kidney history so she can get caught up on my records. Apparently she can multitask better than I can. She stops, she sits back and she looks at me. She says calmly, "so they found out that the cysts in the kidney are non cancerous but what about the 2.5cm cyst on the cervix?" I stare blankly at her. Yes folks, the saga is now going to start again because I have multiple cysts on my cervix. The doctor at this point has no clue why I am not complaining about being in more pain. High pain tolerance? Well I need to get this checked out, she doesn't think it's cancer BUT you never know.
Admittedly, this could be my fault, I have not been to a OB/GYN in years BUT I think that when those cysts appeared on my CT scan for the kidney, someone might have thought to mention it. If I had not gone to the family doctor, I still would not have known. Coordination of care has to mean something to someone. I mean if my clients needed food, I wouldn't buy them ice cream if they didn't have a refrigerator or electric. I would work on all of the issues or find resources to help the other existing issues.Guess what this means? Yes, another referral to Borgess Women's Health and an ultrasound to start the whole party.
Lastly did you know that there are multiple kidney diets and they are confusing and contradictory? In my humble opinion, I can honestly say I can safely eat air and water and that would fit in with the diets and be okay. My doctor is not okay with this.. she is referring me to a dietician. This is actually a good thing and I am looking forward to this. This honestly makes me happy.
I leave her office and I think I drive home.. I mean I got home somehow and I was alone because silly me.. I never thought I would need Steve for a wart removal. I am not going to a doctor appointment ever again for anything alone.I don't care if it is just for my flu shot. I am petrified now to go to the doctor for anything.
I think I honestly might have called Steve from the parking lot to tell him all the new information but I can't remember. My memories of this moment are a bit cloudy. I can tell you that the emotions that I felt were endless. I felt anger, sadness, hopelessness, frustration, and fear. I do remember after getting home and talking to Steve about the visit I looked at him and told him that I'd sign divorce papers if he wanted a divorce (just to clarify due to my sarcastic humor, I was 100% serious). He looked at me like I lost my mind. I just couldn't imagine what he has to be going through with all of this chaos and the emotional struggles. Honestly one minute I am fine and the next minute I am crying on the couch. He deserves sainthood and I don't deserve him.
The next post.. the trials and errors of new medications.
Oh My Gosh!! Is there anything anyone can help with?
ReplyDeleteJust keeping loving us for who we are. I think right now just being able to process this in a different forum that to each other is helping. I went to bed after typing this last night and it was as a weight was lifted.
Delete